We Weren’t Meant to Be Alone

There’s a truth that hits hard—like a sudden rainstorm in the middle of the street with no umbrella—no matter how much we try to dress it up as independence, empowerment, or “I’ve got this on my own”:

Humans were not designed to live in isolation.

Yes, you can be self-sufficient, work hard, achieve your goals, decorate your apartment like a Pinterest board, and meal prep every Sunday...
But if you don’t have someone to laugh with about something silly or cry with after a bad day, it will always feel like something is missing.

From the moment we’re born, we don’t walk or talk first—we cry. And not just out of hunger, but because we crave warmth, arms, a voice that says, “It’s okay, I’m here.”

And that same need for connection stays with us throughout our lives.

And what does science say? Oh, it agrees with us.

(Not just because some of us are “clingy,” okay?)

Researchers like John Cacioppo, a pioneer in loneliness studies, found that prolonged isolation not only impacts your mood, but it can be as harmful to your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

Surprised? And you thought only greasy food was bad for you?

Being alone for long periods increases the risk of depression, anxiety, heart problems, and even cognitive decline.
In plain terms: the mind and body suffer when we disconnect for too long.

What I see in therapy (and what you’ve probably felt too):

Here’s an example that stayed with me: a client once told me—so excited—that he had been promoted at work.
He texted his family, sent out messages… but everyone was too busy.
In the end, he ordered a pizza and celebrated alone.

And he told me:

“The pizza was good, but the promotion felt empty.”

That hits hard.
Not because the achievement wasn’t big, but because there was no one to share it with.
And that, my friend, takes the shine off even the biggest wins.

It’s not about having a lot of people, but about having meaningful ones

Companionship doesn’t have to be romantic.
Forget the “I don’t have a partner” drama (though, yes, it’s cute to have someone who steals your fries without asking).

I’m talking about having someone to share the everyday with:
A friend, a sister, a neighbor, your favorite lady at the corner store, the guy from the hardware shop, a coworker who sends memes at the perfect moment…

Those simple conversations—sharing a little gossip, laughing at nonsense, venting after a 2-hour traffic jam—are what give life its meaning.

As a therapist and a human: I live this too

There are days I finish a workshop or accomplish something big, and I feel exhausted but proud. And the first thing I want to do is tell my husband (who’s almost always present at these events anyway!).

That moment when he listens, laughs with me (because we did it!), or says “I’m proud of you”—it makes the exhaustion worth it.

If I kept it all to myself, it would feel like something was missing from the story.

So, what do we do with this truth?

Building support networks isn’t easy, I know.
Sometimes we carry trauma, disappointment, and we prefer to withdraw.
But as I often tell my clients in therapy:

“The human heart was not made to live in silence.”

So, here’s your reminder:

• Seek genuine conversations.
• Nurture real friendships.
• Dare to speak—and to listen.
• Send that message. Make the video call. Show up with a juice or coffee at someone’s house—no shame in that.

Because joy tastes better when it’s shared

So if today you achieved something—whether it was finally doing the laundry, finishing that report, or just getting out of bed with some energy—share it with someone.

A coffee, a hug, a voice note with a laugh included. Anything goes.

Because you and I both know:

“Shared wins taste better than hot coffee when you're fighting sleep in the office, and there’s still hours left in the workday.”

—Lic. Arlenys Garcia